You Make Me Wonder
by Written Fire
Summary: Loving Arthur was easy; being in love with him was anything but.


_Hey everybody! Here is my first ever Merlin fanfic! :D _

_This story is for my best friend, my pet goldfish named Turtle (my favorite inside joke :b) :') She was not feeling to well on Tuesday, and frankly, neither was I, so to help cheer her up I wrote her some fluff :) She had done it for me just days before, so I felt it was only right. She's freaking awesome, and one of these days I will actually write all of her stories!_

_I hope you all like this as much as she did, and that it cheers you if you're having a bad day. :)_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin! Not at all._**

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Arthur always made Merlin wonder. Wonder about their destiny, how the crown fit on his royal prattish head, and how someone could be so arrogant and yet be so _caring._

Made him wonder what it was about him that made him love him so.

Spreading his fingers out in the grass beneath him, Merlin let out a quiet sigh. It was that last wonder that had driven him to seek solitude in the forest. He had walked until he had found his favorite clearing—the one he liked to call Kilgharrah to when they met. Walking until he found a reasonably shaded spot he then let his limbs go loose as he sprawled out on the ground, his face shadowed by the leaves and leaving him free to stare at the sky.

Merlin was sure that being in love with Arthur was not a part of his destiny. Loving him, sure; they were good friends, _best _friends, loving him was a part of the job description. But being _in love _with him? That was an _entirely _different thing! Groaning in frustration he buried his face in his hands, pressing down hard enough that he saw spots.

His feelings made him feel nothing but confusion. On a normal basis, he was able to shove what he felt to the back of his mind, to focus on his day to day work and not on the over-whelming rush of emotions that hit him every time he saw that _stupidly_ perfect face. Today…today he had just not been able to do that. It was one of his rare days off, so he had allowed himself a lie in, resigning himself to the fact that he was not going to see Arthur that day. He had been prepared to just deal with his emotions, until he went out to the market to walk around and came across Arthur kneeling before a child, a gentle, fond smile on his face as he listened to the excited child talk.

The heartwarming sight had sent his heart pounding, his breath catching in his throat as the traitorous sunlight had lit up his face. Not wanting to make a scene he had quickly fled the area, not stopping until he had reached the clearing, slowing to a walk until he was stopped completely.

Seeing him talk to a child, letting his feelings actually show on his face, it had left him feeling so warm he did not know what to do. It was the moments like that that made it difficult to be around the Prince. When he saw him show how caring of a King he would be it sent his pulse racing in excitement; Merlin knew the potential that Arthur had, and to see him starting to actually _show _it was exhilarating and nerve-wracking at the same time. He knew that the day would eventually come, but he did not think that he was ready for it.

Sliding his hands back, fingers running through his hair briefly as he stretched his arms out, Merlin wondered on what to do. Did he stay on as Arthur's manservant, hiding his emotions for the rest of his life? Or did he quit, staying just as the physician's assistant and protecting him, loving him from afar? Rolling onto his stomach and burying his face in his arms, he let out a final sigh before giving up on that particular train of thought.

Listening to the birds sing in the trees, the slight hum to the air, Merlin slipped his eyes shut, letting himself slowly sink into sleep.

* * *

Merlin woke in increments, coming into awareness gradually. The first thing he became aware of was that he had, during his unplanned nap, rolled onto his side, legs curled, one hand lying under his cheek and the other resting on the grass before him. Rolling onto his back, his eyes still closed, Merlin stretched out his limbs, a soft moan escaping his lips before he settled with his arms spread out above his head, his body humming from a good nap and a pleasant stretch.

He took his time in opening his eyes, content to just lay there for a while more. When he finally took note of the sky he noticed that it appeared to be late afternoon, the air just that slightest bit cooler than it had been when he had fallen asleep. Sighing lightly he let himself be lost to thought, going over his list of chores for the next day in his head. So drawn into himself was he that it took him putting his hands behind his head to raise it slightly to notice that there was something there that had not been there before.

Frowning gently he probed quietly at the fabric beneath his head; recognizing it easily—for he handled it on a semi daily basis—Merlin rolled to the side and sat up to notice one of Arthur's jackets folded up, looking the perfect pillow. Running his fingertips along for a moment before picking it up, he looked around the clearing to find its owner.

It did not take him long at all; Arthur sat leaned against the tree Merlin had been using for shade, a leg drawn up and bent at the knee, one arm lying casually on top of it. His gaze was focused on the man before him, a brow raised in a manner typical to Gaius.

"Arthur! What are you doing out here?" Merlin questioned, spinning quickly so he faced his friend, legs crossing as he set the jacket down on his lap. "_When _did you get here, actually?" his frown returned, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"You know, it's not safe to fall asleep out here, unprotected. _Bandits_ could get you, _Mer_lin, and they would not have been as kind as I." was the prats reply, leaning forward so that his torso came close to resting on his thigh, his free hand waving in his servant's direction. "Honestly, Merlin, I did not think you were that stupid."

Huffing, Merlin crossed his arms and glared at his prince. "There haven't been bandit reports for months, _sire,_ and I can take care of myself if they happened upon me."

This earned him a disbelieving snort and a shake of the head. "Why are you out here, Merlin?"

"Just…thinking." He mumbled looking down at his lap as his fingers fidgeted with the bundle in it.

"Thinking? Is that why you ran from the market like hell was on your heels?"

His face flushed, glancing up at him in embarrassment. "You saw that?"

"Yes, I did, as I am sure did everyone else in Camelot." Dropping his knee he leaned forward, legs crossing before elbows rested on knees as he looked curiously at him. "What could you have been possibly thinking about?"

"N-Nothing, nothing important." He shrugged, wincing internally at the stammer. "Just…you know, things?"

Arthur sighed, shaking his head again as he straightened, back once again resting against the rough bark of the tree. Deciding not to try and dig for an answer he instead settled for just looking at his best friend. As he watched Merlin's face grew steadily redder, the nervous fidget to his fingers only worsening. What was it that had him so uneasy?

"Why did you give me this?" he finally questioned, holding the jacket up so there was no question what he spoke of. It was his turn to stare in wonder, then, as Arthur's face flushed, the shifting of his body his only sign of nerves.

"The ground didn't look comfortable, is all." He said, glaring at him, daring him to mock him for his act of kindness. At his words Merlin instead smiled, a pleased but embarrassed quirk of the lips.

"Thank you then, sire." His words caused the blonde's flush to deepen, Merlin's gaze following it down his neck until it disappeared down his shirt and out of sight. His response was to fidget again, punching him in the arm in that knightly way of showing affection. Merlin laughed lightly at the action, his smile bright as they settled into a calm quiet.

Fingers absentmindedly stroked the jacket, eyes unfocused on the grass between them as their minds wandered, content with each other in this silence, this moment. Focused so intently on nothing as he was Merlin missed the looks cast at his person, the fond longing held in blue eyes as they periodically lit upon his face, highlighting features before running along his body, catching on his long, slim fingers before moving away.

"Merlin." His voice broke the quiet easily, tenderly, soft as he called for attention.

"Hmm?" he replied automatically, not really paying attention but hoping he would speak again, the tenor of his voice at parts soothing and enticing.

Fingers gently grasped his chin, tilting his head up and toward a face that was closer than it had been ever before. "Arthur?" he asked softly, his heart skipping a beat before pounding away, fingers stilling on fabric before curling into it at the low 'shh' that was breathed before lips pressed lightly to his, firming at the soft sigh that escaped Merlin.

It lasted only for a moment, before he was drawing back, fingers releasing his chin to cup his cheek instead. Leaning into the hand, fingers wrapping gently around the wrist and stroking gently at the skin there, they stared at one another, searching one another's faces for any sign of rejection.

Finding none, faces lit in smiles, lips brushing once, twice, three more times before they stopped. Without a need to state their wants Arthur moved back against the tree so Merlin could move forward, an arm draping across thin shoulders as a warm body pressed against a heated side. They settled quickly, falling into each other's embrace as smoothly as if they had done it all their lives, Merlin's arm wrapping around his waist from behind, fingers dipping ever so slightly under clothes to rest against skin. Laying his head on his chest, Arthur's resting on his as their legs tangled; they shared a soft sigh and watched in serenity as the light slowly left the sky, the inky black of night slow to come.

There was nowhere else they would rather be.

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_Well there it was! I finished this in one night, and it was looked over right before posting, but if I missed anything just please let me know and I'll fix it!_

_I have a tumblr, the link is on my profile! Come and check it out? :)_

_Thanks for reading, and please, leave a review! :3_


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